Performative.
By definition, it means behavior that is done to be seen rather than to be genuine. An action meant to create an impression, not to reflect reality.
A word we often use now. Not just for Instagram influencers but for people we know. People who look thoughtful, disciplined, and even exceptional online, but feel different in real life.
So where did this come from? Why do we paint ourselves into the next Bill Gates or the next Anne Hathaway? Why do we try to be individuals that we’re not? Especially when each person already holds something unrepeatable, something like singularity, a self that no one else can replicate, something that could grow into its own kind of work if we just let it.
Because performative effort rarely produces real substance. Something polished on the outside but hollow underneath, like the fruit in Book of Genesis that looked good but carried consequences inside. As it says, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” from 1 Samuel.
All in all, Performativity means nothing.
Frankly, if you can not prove your true worth in the real world, all you will face is disappointment and laziness. But yet why do we do it?
A region of the brain called the ventral striatum lights up when we receive validation. Likes, views, attention. It does not matter whether it comes from people we love or people we barely know. The reward feels the same. And so we learn to chase it. But in chasing it, we begin to reshape ourselves. Performative performance does not produce productive products. It simply brings in false ones, ones that are akin to the forbidden fruit, beautiful on the outside, disgusting on the inside.
Students have been forced into a whirlpool of expectations, often reinforced by parents, peers, and teachers as well. In an environment of success where success is often determined by where you go to school, whether you are tall, whether you are good looking, it creates a class system that differentiates from one another. You are given a value at a certain point and that determines whether you will succeed in life or not.
And once you feel ranked, you start performing.
It will often cause you to overthink, pause and misinterpret others. You hesitate before being honest. You begin to care not just about what people think of you, but what they think of the people around you. It is all so common and brings us to a certain sense of insecurity: a dark feeling that you simply can not shake off.
Students feel this everyday and so do I. To give a quick anecdote, recently, I myself as a senior, have committed to the #4 medical school in the US at San Diego to later work in the Salk Institute, one of the world’s most renowned medical research institutes in the world. Very contrary to what I originally wanted to do, which was to work in politics. Realizing that med school and becoming a cardiothoracic surgeon may have been God’s plan all along, I didn’t care upon what others said and pursued it. With a full scholarship and now having to undergo 8+ years of grueling hard work, I set my foot on a journey to save children in the most destitute areas in the world and show God’s work by providing care.
Throughout my time during these 4 years, I have learned that it is no surprise that people will judge you. They will judge you upon every step that you decide to take and will break you down upon that every step. However, this merely means that you are winning. It means that you are walking the walk. It is both admirable and noble. So, continue to follow your purpose. Do not think that people really care. Because they don’t. In 10 years, you’ll forget that they even existed. Follow your dreams. Follow your goals. Performativity or the nice posts that you post on social media will not matter. What is going to be left behind will be your legacy, the people that you inspired, the effect that you have given to people around the world.
Get to where you want and be the best.
God Bless.